It sure has been a long time!!!
There is way too much love in this world and I think it is time to spread a little of the good ole H-A-T-E.
I HATE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEIR CHILDREN!!!
Don't get me wrong, I love my kids... I just don't like them a large percentage of the time.
Remember, children, like babies are not really people. They look like miniature versions of people, but they lack common sense. To call a child dumb is redundant... a child is a child - they are all dumb! Yes, there are different levels of "dumbness", but they are all pretty dense.
You see, I don't hate children, I just hate hearing about how wonderful spending time with children is! I know that sometimes it is very satisfying to spend time with your kids, sometimes they even make you proud. For the most part however, they are needy, mouthy, smelly, dirty, complaining, argumentative, naughty, disgusting little money pits that remind us how imperfect we were when we were children.
When it comes down to it, there are a few rules to follow when discussing your children:
- We don't give a S*$T if you are proud of your child, some of us are not proud of ours, so SHUT THE F%*K UP!
- The more you talk about how wonderful your child is, the less we believe you... so maybe you should take a hint from #1 and STFU!!!
- Maybe you did have fun going for ice cream with your kid, but let's be honest... going for ice cream without your kid would have been better, so SHUT THE F$*K UP!!!
- If you think that conversations with a child about Barbie or Bakugon or video games are interesting, you are an even dumber than your kid... so STFU!
And most importantly - JUST SHUT THE F#&K UP!!!!!!!!
I can't stand people proudly dressing up their children and parading them around like they are showpieces so that everyone can think they have the most wonderfully perfect life. Even worse is the parent who allows their children to do whatever they like and ignore the kids when they are doing inappropriate things. These are usually the people who "LOVE THEIR CHILDREN". Yeah... ignore the child while IT (it isn't a person yet, so I guess I can call it an "IT") annoys the rest of us. It is OK if your perfect little angel hits someone else’s kid or destroys someone else's property. That's just kids being kids right?!?
WRONG!!!!!
If you have your rotten little bastard around me, please discipline IT! It is easier to go on Facebook and gush about how wonderful the day you spent with your little jeezer was if you ignore IT the whole time. Maybe if you actually pay attention to what the kid is doing, you would not have so many great and wonderful things to say about them. Even if you do have great and wonderful things to say about your kids... maybe our kids suck and we don't want to hear about yours!
You want to know what I LOVE - seeing a frustrated parent in the mall carrying their kicking, screaming little demon under their arm while praying not to throttle the kid's little neck. That is a good parent; one that resists the temptation of burying their kid in the back yard when they act like idiots. One that gets the kid out of the mall before another mall patron throttles the parent.
If you haven't figured out what I am trying to say, here it is in a nutshell...
Nobody cares about how great your kid is. If you have to update your Facebook status, blog or Twitter Tweets, maybe you should describe all of the brainless things your kid has done. At least then the rest of us can relate!
On that note, here goes:
Why is it so difficult to convince a 14 year old boy that it is inappropriate to wear grass stained pants, a worn out COWS T-shirt that is too small and has bleach stains and a ladies peach zipper-front hooded sweater to school?
Now doesn't that make you feel much better than if I just gush about the wonderful meal my thoughtful son made for us last night?
I thought so!
2 comments:
Its pretty obvious if this post is serious you don't like your children, but:
#1 Doesn't that speak volumes about the quality of the parent when you cant manage to find something about your child to be proud of?
#2 Maybe the problem is you havn't raised wonderful children, which if we go by the premise of referring back to my response to #1 maybe the quality of the parent is the reason you cant find positive things to say about your children.
#3 If I went for ice cream without my child I would feel akward and out of place. Like an over-weight loser with a lack of impulse control...
#4 If you cannot relate to a child on a simple level, what gives them joy. How can you relate to an adult on a more complex level? Again this probably goes back to the quality of parenting, based on having a desire to help your child develop more complex social skills. Not everyone strives to produce shut in sociopaths...
#5 Certainly, but only after I state the fact that I don't really know you from Adam, so this is just me playing devils advocate, not really running a commentary on your parenting, but more so the tone of the post, and an average parent who is proud of there child, enjoys engaging with my kid.
I think you completely missed the point of the the blog...
First of all, I clearly hate all people in general, and since children are not people, I don't hate them.
What I hate is people wh gush about how perfect their lovely, sweet, wonderful, beautiful children are. NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT!!!
Some of us have problems with our children... and let's e honest, many of these people gushing about their great and wonderful children are overcompensating for something.
so as for your comments:
"#1 Doesn't that speak volumes about the quality of the parent when you cant manage to find something about your child to be proud of?"
There are many times when I am proud of my kids and many when I am not, but I can tell you this... when I am proud of my kids, I tell them, I don't have to gush to the rest of the world about it because NOBODY ELSE CARES!!! I think on #1 you need to take the blog's advice ;)
"#2 Maybe the problem is you havn't raised wonderful children, which if we go by the premise of referring back to my response to #1 maybe the quality of the parent is the reason you cant find positive things to say about your children."
There is nothing wrong with my children. They get good grades and are involved in many things. They are also teenagers and constantly argue, just like normal teenagers. I just don't feel the need to make every blog and facebook status about how great my kids are and I don't want to hear about yours.
"#3 If I went for ice cream without my child I would feel akward and out of place. Like an over-weight loser with a lack of impulse control..."
So, you never went for ice cream before you had kids? And I guess you don't eat ice cream when you go out with your kid, because it isn't good for you. If going for ice cream makes you feel like an overweight loser, then that really says more about you than I need to.
"4 If you cannot relate to a child on a simple level, what gives them joy. How can you relate to an adult on a more complex level? Again this probably goes back to the quality of parenting, based on having a desire to help your child develop more complex social skills. Not everyone strives to produce shut in sociopaths..."
Once again, missing the point. This blog isn't about how much I hate my kids or even kids in general. I hate people gushing about their wonderful kids (especially when I know these are the same people either ignoring all of the things their kids do like breaking other people's things or hurting their peers - they watch these things happen and do nothing about it). Interesting that the quality of my parenting skills is questioned because I don't want to hear about how great you F%$king kids are. OK! Do I enjoy spending time with my kids... much of the time I do not. Do I spend time with my kids... yes - ALOT! I have a teenage girl and boy who argue constantly. This certainly makes them a great joy to be around. As for the sociopaths comment... yeah, that is exactly what I strive for my kids to be!
"#5 Certainly, but only after I state the fact that I don't really know you from Adam, so this is just me playing devils advocate, not really running a commentary on your parenting, but more so the tone of the post, and an average parent who is proud of there child, enjoys engaging with my kid."
The blog is about how much I hate people, you really have to expect the tone to be what it is. Read through my other posts and you may understand a bit more. As for your pride in your child... once again - NOBODY CARES!
I have to refer to the last 2 lines of my post...
Which statement is more interesting for a facebook status... the one about the inappropriate outfit that might give other parents a chuckle, or the gushing about the Clambourgini meal the same son cooked for us that was delicious?
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