I hate strippers!!!
Actually, I am lying... I love strippers!
Friday, November 24, 2006
Thursday, November 16, 2006
I hate Karaoke!!!
I really shouldn’t say that I hate all Karaoke, because that isn’t true. The truth is there are some types of people that perform Karaoke that I absolutely hate. If I could put a bouncing ball over the words to make it easier for all you Karaoke fans to read this post, I would, but I cannot so here goes…
I really shouldn’t say that I hate all Karaoke, because that isn’t true. The truth is there are some types of people that perform Karaoke that I absolutely hate. If I could put a bouncing ball over the words to make it easier for all you Karaoke fans to read this post, I would, but I cannot so here goes…
- Karaoke is fun when not taken seriously. If you really think you are a great singer (which most Karaoke singers are not), Karaoke is not for you.
- When a person or people are trying to sing their song, they don’t need a drunken idiot who thinks he/she can sing grabbing another microphone and joining in (or taking the mic from them).
- Karaoke is not meant to be sung a cappella (vocal music or singing without instrumental accompaniment, I figured I’d dumb it down a bit for anyone reading this that likes to take mini-vans mud-bogging --not the most intelligent people--). There is a reason that there is music on the CD’s as well as words on the screen.
- Karaoke is not an open mic comedy hour. Just because you have a mic in your hand, doesn’t mean it is time to showcase your comedic talents (or lack there of).
- When there is a group of people doing Karaoke, it is important not to be the one singing every song. You can only stand to hear a person butcher so many songs.
- Being a white guy with no fashion sense and a mic in your hand does not make you Eminem!
- Knowing the words to a song doesn’t mean you can sing it well (or rap it, in the case of Eminem).
- Boy band music should only be sung jokingly or by young teenagers. Grown men singing boy band music is really creepy (it is called “boy band” music, not “balding, tubby, Michael Jackson wannabe, grown man band” music).
- Country music should only be sung when intoxicated because that is the only way it sounds even a little bit good.
That is all for today folks. I'm sure that I will have more hate to post soon. Until then... f%$# off. :o)
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Babies… The Sequel!
Did I ever mention that I hate people with babies? Well, I do!!!
In my previous post, I outlined 14 reasons why I hate people with babies. Clearly, this was not an exhaustive list, so I thought I’d add a few more to the list…
Let’s start at 15.
17. If you are at my house and you wish to change your baby’s diaper, the best place to do this is in the bathroom. NOT on my couch (or kitchen table…gross) with a tiny pad under the child (or no pad at all) that any “accidents” will just flow right onto the couch.
18. As for dirty diapers, it should be obvious that they shouldn’t be thrown just anywhere. I cannot stand people coming into my house and dropping dirty diapers in the kitchen or bathroom garbage cans or even leaving them on my basement floor! I would prefer that my house not smell like dirty diapers, so perhaps placing the diaper in a bag and dropping it in the trash outside would be something that a non-idiot would do (especially after specifically being asked to do so).
19. When dressing or carrying your baby, it would be prudent NOT to bang his/her head on tables, floors, walls, etc.
20. Throwing your baby up in the air and shaking it about violently may seem like a fun idea, to those parents who have their heads so far up their asses that they have not heard of Shaken Baby Syndrome.
21. When a baby smells like sour milk and piss, it is time to clean that baby.
22. Baby talk, baby talk, baby talk!!! I said it before, but it is too important to let lie. How is your baby ever going to learn to speak properly if you call a “bottle” a BaBa? Baby talk should only be spoken by babies, and only until they can actually speak properly! Would it be cute if your 17 year old was asking for a BaBa or telling you that he has to have a WeeWee?
Well, that is all for today. I think my next topic just may have to be Karaoke.
Did I ever mention that I hate people with babies? Well, I do!!!
In my previous post, I outlined 14 reasons why I hate people with babies. Clearly, this was not an exhaustive list, so I thought I’d add a few more to the list…
Let’s start at 15.
15. If your baby is thirsty, for Christ’s sake, give the baby a drink! Do not however, hand the child a bottle or sippy cup and let him run around MY house throwing it on MY floor (denting the floor and spilling milk everywhere).
17. If you are at my house and you wish to change your baby’s diaper, the best place to do this is in the bathroom. NOT on my couch (or kitchen table…gross) with a tiny pad under the child (or no pad at all) that any “accidents” will just flow right onto the couch.
18. As for dirty diapers, it should be obvious that they shouldn’t be thrown just anywhere. I cannot stand people coming into my house and dropping dirty diapers in the kitchen or bathroom garbage cans or even leaving them on my basement floor! I would prefer that my house not smell like dirty diapers, so perhaps placing the diaper in a bag and dropping it in the trash outside would be something that a non-idiot would do (especially after specifically being asked to do so).
19. When dressing or carrying your baby, it would be prudent NOT to bang his/her head on tables, floors, walls, etc.
20. Throwing your baby up in the air and shaking it about violently may seem like a fun idea, to those parents who have their heads so far up their asses that they have not heard of Shaken Baby Syndrome.
21. When a baby smells like sour milk and piss, it is time to clean that baby.
22. Baby talk, baby talk, baby talk!!! I said it before, but it is too important to let lie. How is your baby ever going to learn to speak properly if you call a “bottle” a BaBa? Baby talk should only be spoken by babies, and only until they can actually speak properly! Would it be cute if your 17 year old was asking for a BaBa or telling you that he has to have a WeeWee?
Well, that is all for today. I think my next topic just may have to be Karaoke.
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