I HATE doctors with big sausage fingers!!!

I recently experienced a violation that I never thought I'd ever have the misfortune to experience.

Let me explain...

Earlier this week I went to my family doctor to talk about some digestive issues that I was having. I figured that I'd walk into the office, discuss what could be the cause of these problems, perhaps discuss possible tests I should have in order to rule out Cancer or other serious problems.

What I wasn't prepared for is my doctor saying "drop your pants and I'll have a look in your back end"!!! Boy, talk about an ice breaker! Now my doctor has probably the worst bedside manner of any doctor I've ever met (he would readily admit to this), so I've learned to expect him to say some unexpected things...but this just blew me away!

The next words out of his mouth were "drop your drawers, lay on your side and I'll go get my flashlight"! I felt like I was being put up on the hoist for some body work. So away he went to find his Mag Light or what ever the hell else he planned on torturing me with.

There I lay... pants around my ankles, bare-assed waiting for what seemed like hours for the doctor to come back do God knows what to me. Well... I wasn't sure what he was going to do, but I had an idea. If my pants weren't around my ankles, I would have bolted out of there like a stick of dynamite was up my ass. Which, for all I knew , is what my doctor had planned.

So finally, the doctor arrives and tells me he's going to have a look. He asks me how my kids are doing. As I said fine, I heard a high pitched squeal. I quickly realized it was me as he slid a long plastic tube into my nether-regions. He then proceeded to pump air into me like I was his inflatable date for the evening. After what seemed like an eternity of being prodded with this tube, and learning everything looked normal, he removed the tube and I breathed a sigh of relief... for a moment!

The next sensation I felt was a large, gloved finger being forcefully inserted into my arse end. If this wasn't bad enough, he inserted it so far, I figured he must be wearing a pair of those dish washing gloves. From the way he was searching around in there, I thought he must have lost his watch up there and was trying to get it back.

After the doctor finished sodomizing me, I waddled home with the lovely thought that my next test involves a barium enema! F*#k!!!