People really do suck! And if you haven’t figured it out by now… I hate them. Since I have already discussed my hatred for people asking stupid IT questions, I might as well discuss people working in the so-called “Humanities”.

I HATE SOCIAL SERVICES!!!

Don’t get me wrong, some social programs are necessary and are very beneficial to the clients that are served by these programs. The problem is that many people managing these programs fall into 1 of 2 categories:

1. Bleeding hearts that think they can change the world;
2. And those who don’t care one bit about the clients and are just working for the money (not that the money is very good) and the recognition (they are providing such a wooooonderful public service – can you detect a note of sarcasm here?).

The sad fact is that I hate both types of people equally.

Sometimes I think that the Bleeding heartS (I’ll call them BS for short because that seems to be what is blinding them from the truth) are the worst because they actually think they can change the world (those foolish, foolish people). They then go about managing their little not-for-profit group with blinders on thinking they are making a difference… and I’m sure they are, in some cases. What about those people who abuse the system? I have been witness to people doing this every day. They prey on the sympathies of BS and profit from these sympathies. Many BS (remember BS stands for Bleeding heartS) are also members of religious groups (surprise, surprise) whose beliefs cloud the judgements of otherwise sensible people. A good example of BS having S (you can probably guess what the S stands for… and no! It is not heartS) in their eyes lives across the street from me. There is a home across the street from my home that is low-rent housing for abused women and their children. In this home, a woman and her children are living on welfare while their “abuser” and father who according to a neighbour makes $500/week lives at the “shelter” with them. After many nights of putting up with the fighting and cursing coming from the afore mentioned house, a call was made to the landlady of the house; A church group that is trying to help abused women get back on their feet. The response that was received from the landlady was quite surprising… “He does not live at the house. It is against the rules”. When the landlady was again told that he IS in fact living in the house, her response was… “Well, there are no throw away families”. I’m sure that she’d change her tune if she lived across the street from the yahoos. Talk about being full of S! Does she really think that she is helping the Huxtables? I’ll call them the Huxtables because that is who they remind me of… only they are the Huxtables from Hell! Right now we have

• Cliff – the abusive, crass loud-mouth that pretends not to live in the house
• Claire – The even crasser (not classier), even louder mouthed “lady” that draws a welfare cheque while Cliff works.
• 2 Theos
  Theo#1 – The older son who loves to break things and beat up children 4 years younger than him (of course they are probably in the same grade because the kid is so damn stupid).
  Theo#2 – A carbon copy of Theo#1 only a couple years younger.
  

The low-income housing that the Huxtables live in has another rule regarding children. When the children turn 18, Claire (Cliff, of course is not living there according to the landlady) and the Theos are supposed to move out so that the rental can be given to another person in need. Because of this rule, Claire is planning to get pregnant –maybe they can have a little Vanessa or Rudy-- again so that she and Cliff can continue to abuse the system. It sure sounds like the BS (I am not repeating what BS stands for again! If you don’t know, read the damn thing again and pay attention this time) are helping this poor needy family through a crisis.

Wait a minute… NO IT DOESN’T!!! These people are taking away resources that could be used to help people who are actually in crisis situations. Why is it that the abusers get the help while the ones who really need the help do not get it? I guess the truly needy people are the “throw away people”.

Those that are in the business of “helping people” for the money and/or the recognition are called ASS for short. What does ASS stand for? Well… it stands for ASS. Need I say more? The ASS takes credit for the good things that people that work for him do while constantly disrespecting the people who do this work. They assume that they know everything about their “clients” even though they never spend time with them, and spend government money on things for which that money is not meant. A good example of this occurs daily in the mental health industry. The government pays for clients to have one-on-one support and these one-on-one workers end up with 10 different clients at once. If you know fractions at all, and I know that artsy, humanitarian types have problems with this… that is ten-on-one.

I know that the job market is flooded with people with Arts degrees (hell, I have one), but that doesn’t mean you should treat your staff like crap… just because you can find someone else to do the job. What about taking advantage of the clients? Why should their one-on-one time be eaten up by other clients? The answer to that is… they can’t tell anyone. Neither can the staff member for fear that they might lose their job. So the ASSes get to sit on their throne and s#!t all over the rest of the clients and staff while everyone tells them that their s#!t smells like roses (you might wonder what everyone is doing inside the ASSes’ throne… It is actually a metaphorical throne, not a porcelain one)!

The funny part of this whole situation is that the BS kiss the ASSes and that is what allows this whole process to continue.

Well, that’s all for now. I’m sure that I’ll have more to say about social services in the future as I feel such disdain for them.

As some of you know, I work in the IT industry. This seemed like a good career choice when I left my job working in the “Humanities” because I hated people so much. I figured that if I worked with computers, I wouldn’t have to deal with the stupidity that I dealt with working in the mental health field (which I’m sure I will discuss at a later date). Boy was I wrong!!!

I HATE STUPID QUESTIONS!!!

Some people say that there are no stupid questions. I disagree! I hear them every day.

One of the problems I had when I first began working in this industry is I tended to assume that people were not idiots. I would then spend countless hours working on their problems when the solution was very simple.

One prime example of this was the day I was told that the sound wasn’t working on one of the PCs in the building. Bear in mind that it is not my job to troubleshoot such problems, but since I am close by, I get called often. I was told that the sound just stopped working. After 3 hours of troubleshooting and re-installing software, I came to find out that someone was running wires under the desk the day that the sound stopped working. When I looked under the desk (which was entirely enclosed, which is why I did not check this first), sure enough… the speakers were unplugged!

Another example of pure stupidity that I have run into in my years in IT occurred on a cloudy day. The Bat Signal shone brightly on the dark clouds in the sky. I immediately sprang into action! Grabbing my handy, dandy tool belt on the way out of my office, I arrived at a startling scene. My co-worker’s laptop was not working and he couldn’t figure out how to fix it. I quickly took my trusty index finger and pressed the power on button and viola! I guess that is why I get paid the big bucks.

I am not entirely sure why I get asked so many stupid questions. I guess, to many people, computers are mysterious boxes that are far too complex for ordinary people to figure out. I can understand why people who I work with call my department instead of phoning technical support (we respond faster and the problems tend to get fixed more quickly by our group). There are, however, a few things that people having computer problems should do before calling the IT group.

1. Check to see if the computer is plugged in. The plug is the 3 pronged thingy that fits in the “holes” in the wall.
2. All devices must be plugged into the computer and some also have to be plugged into the “holes” (an “outlet” for those of you who didn’t spend their time at a college whose main pitch for perspective students is… “If you pay us $10,000 per year, you get a ‘free’ $400 computer”). Wireless devices require a wireless receiver.
3. Press the POWER button to turn the computer on. A laptop doesn’t turn on by putting up the screen.
4. Pouring coffee, water or any other liquid on your keyboard is not recommended.
5. For Christ’s sake get a virus scan and adware scanner, update and scan your computer at least weekly.
6. The last piece of advice that I have to give to you is a carefully guarded IT secret. Revealing this is like a magician revealing the secrets to his tricks. Helpdesk staffs everywhere are going to want my head on a pole for revealing this to you… If you have a problem with your PC, try rebooting it. That is what the techie is going to try first before he hands you a bill for $100 for his/her (wouldn’t want to be sexist) services. Maybe those techies aren’t as stupid as I tend to think they are.

Following these steps will help you save time, money and may prevent the IT staff from making fun of you (both to your face – my personal favourite, and behind your back).

Another thing I hear a lot from stupid people is… “My computer at home is making a Rooowwwwrrrrrrr sound. How do I fix it?”

My answer… “Take it to a computer shop and pay them some $$$ to find out”.

Or how about… “I got an error on my computer and I don’t remember what it said, but I was surfing the web when it happened. Do you know what the problem could be?”

My answer… “Nope”

The final thing that you should remember when talking to IT staff or anyone else for that matter is; if you start a sentence with “This might be a stupid question…”, then it probably is and perhaps you shouldn’t ask it.

Yes, it has been a while since my last post. But fear not, I have not lost my hatred for people. In fact, I think my hatred has grown since my last post.

I HATE CONSTRUCTION WORKERS!!!

Maybe I should re-phrase that; I don't hate all construction workers. I actually like the one out of ten who works. Have you ever been to a construction site (they are working on the roads in my neighbourhood this summer, so I certainly have)? Isn't it interesting that it takes one person to do all of the work and 10 people to supervise? Or maybe those "supervisors" are actually trying to tamp down the ground by leaning really hard on their rakes as they have a smoke.

I also find it funny that a company can dig the crap out of a highway and leave it that way for the weekend. Without fencing around any holes (as if a couple of pylons and some ribbon creates a magical barrier that will prevent an 8 year old from falling into a hole), and without re-paving the road. But I guess it is OK to stand around and watch others work as long as you dig up your quota of 2 feet of road per day and replace it with lovely gravel that will be filled with potholes by the next day.

How about flaggers... I know that flaggers are not, in general, rocket scientists. But how difficult can it be to turn a sign. I have actually sat in traffic for 30 minutes waiting for a flagger to turn a sign while cars are coming the other way and when the flagger turned that lovely sign, he/she (don't want to reveal too much about the moron) let the cars go for about 5 minutes and stopped them again so cars could come the other way. Is it really that difficult to give the idiot a watch? Maybe one with a timer so that on heavy traffic days, they can allow cars to go for equal amounts of time.

Road workers also have a habit of storing their crap wherever they want to. I think that the next time I find piping or a culvert in my front yard, I will roll it into the woods. It was left in my yard, so it must be mine! What about their machinery? There are tractors and heavy equipment parked all over my neighborhood. I should take one for a joy ride. Maybe dig a few holes. I am sure that I can get more done in a couple of hours than these road workers can. I am not saying it will be done right, but I'm sure that they shouldn't make that claim either.

Today, on my way to work, I noticed that there was no-one working on the road. It was raining this morning, so I guess the workers took a "bad weather" day. I really wouldn't want them to stand out in the rain, they might actually get a little clean. And we wouldn't want any of them to end up with a frizzy mullet.