Religion... what a touchy subject...

I HATE RELIGIOUS ZEALOTS!

Bear in mind that there is a difference between a religious person and a religious zealot. I think everyone should be able to worship or not worship in whatever way they see fit as long as their worship doesn't include criticizing others for not being a pious as themselves. Isn't pride one of the deadly sins?

Pride is defined on Dictionary.com as a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.

It seems to me that people who push their religion on you or criticize your beliefs, or lack of beliefs is exemplifying pride. And they try to tell me I am going to Hell!

Why, pray tell, am I destined to burn? Is it because I had pre-marital sex... alot. Or maybe because the last time I was in a church, I had un-pure thoughts about my neighbour's wife... What can I say? I coveted. Could it even be as simple as the fact that I was baptised as a Roman Catholic and the Mormons are right?!?

When it comes down to it, religions are some of the most non-inclusive, judgemental people on the face of the Earth. How many wars have been fought in the name of so-called peaceful religions attempting to convert or rid themselves of blasphemers? How often do people use religion as a excuse for violence or prejudice?

Don't get me wrong, I think religion has it's place. I just wish there was a religion out there (maybe there is, if you know of one, let me know) that has all of the good points of religion and none of the bad. Who cares if homosexuals get married or for that matter, do whatever they want to do in the bedroom? How does that affect my life? What about abortion. It is interesting that we recently had a religious group come to town to protest at the local abortion clinic. As my wife and 10 year old son drove past the group, they were forced to look at 4 foot pictures of dismembered late term fetuses. My wife couldn't look away because she was driving and my son was in the back seat, so she couldn't cover his eyes. How is it that a group of people can do these types of things in the name of a "loving God"?

One of the funniest things I have heard of in recent years is the idea of missionaries. I used to think that a missionary was a person who went to a foreign country to do aide work while spreading the teachings of their church to whoever will listen. These people do good work and help others who are less fortunate. Who does a couple of 19 year olds from Colorado coming to my door to ask me if I love Jesus help? Am I in such bad straits that I need missionaries coming to help me? I guess they would argue that my soul is in need of help. Maybe they are right, but I don't think that a couple of brainwashed teenagers are going to help me with that.

Oh well, I know that not all religious people out there are the same (which is why I want to make it clear that it is the outspoken, closed minded ones that I am referring to), but you cannot deny that in judging others, you are exhibiting pride -- one of the 7 deadly sins. I have lots more I could say on the subject, but I would probably end up causing riots like that Danish newspaper.

So I guess when I die, I am going to burn but at least I'll have lots of interesting company like all of the other heathens and members of all the religions in the world that were wrong!

I HATE SPAM!!!

And no, I am not talking about the salty luncheon meat made out of the parts of the pig that they wouldn't even put in dog food. I am talking about email spam.

Although all of the genitalia enlargement and pharmacy commercial emails are annoying, the ones I hate the most are all the FW:FW:FW emails coming from so-called friends (idiots) and family (idiots) that are supposed to be cute or funny or inspirational.

These morons add your email to the hundred others they have in their address book on their computer and simply forward the garbage on to you. They then get upset when you ask them to stop sending you all the crap that you are just going to delete.

Although receiving these unwanted emails is annoying and takes up alot of mail box space, there are far worse things going on in the background that all of the idiots sending this trash don't realize is going on.

Every email you FW: to your friends contains all of the email addresses of everyone that has been forwarded this email previously (unless you remove them). Then every one who receives the garbage and forwards it on will add to the amount of email addresses in the list. Eventually, your email has been spread all over the world because some moron decided to send you some email about kittens or loving yourself.

It should be obvious to anyone with more than one brain cell in their tiny little heads that if people all over the world have your email address, you are more likely to get tons of those annoying drug store, stock quotes, porn or penis enlargement emails from companies that profit from sending out spam. Who do you really think starts most of these FW:FW:FW emails anyway? I guarantee that if I start some stupid email about caring and in this email tell people to send it to everyone they care about; within a couple of months, I'd receive the email back with hundreds of people's email addresses included.

Another problem that the having your email address spread all over the world is viruses. There are a great many viruses that search through your computer for email addresses and send out emails containing the virus to all of those people.

What in God's name are these FW:FW:FW idiots thinking? Do people really think that these emails are wonderful to receive? Is it really so nice to know that someone cared enough about you to click forward, add your email address to the hundred others in their address list and press send? I am sure that these idiots were thinking of you as they took 5 seconds out of their busy day to forward some stupid "You Know You Were Born In The 70s When..." email to you and 100 other people. I have news for you... YOU KNOW YOU WERE BORN IN THE 70s IF YOUR BIRTHDAY IS BETWEEN 1970 AND 1979!

I HATE PEOPLE!

Babies.

Babies! Babies! Babies!

I hate people with babies (I don't hate the babies themselves because they aren't people yet)!

I shouldn't say that I hate everyone with babies because not all people are the same. If you care to find out what I hate about people with babies, keep reading. If you don't care, then F%*$ Off and go somewhere else!

1. Baby pictures. Why is it that people with babies always think that you want to see 1000 different pictures of the babies in different outfits? I wouldn't mind seeing "A" picture, but don't bring an album to my house... and if the baby is with you, why do I need to see pictures? And to all you parents who think that your baby is the most beautiful in the world, I've got news for you. BABIES ALL LOOK THE SAME! Yes, there are some variations, but they are all wrinkly, goony looking, crying, puking, pooping little lumps! You can't be sure what they will look like until they get a little bigger.

2. "You've got to see the baby" - Why do I have to see the baby? They all look pretty much the same and I'm sure that the person telling me that I have to see the baby has already sent me dozens of pictures of it, so I ask again; why do I have to see the baby?

3. "I just had a baby and I haven't yet lost the baby fat" - You can only use this excuse for so long. After about 3 months, that is no longer an excuse. I've known people who talk about just having a baby and the baby fat when the child is over a year old. And what about those who were fat before they had the baby? I have news for you, that is NOT baby fat. That is fat fat, unless you just ate a baby, in which case you may call it baby fat.

4. "Everyone decided to have a baby just because I had one" - Do you know how many times I've heard this? Most of the time the people who are saying this decided to get preggers because an EX boyfriend just had a baby. Get a life, the whole world doesn't revolve around you and your baby!

5. "Having a baby will bring me close together with my mate" - Are you kidding me? So what you are thinking is... Having no sleep, no sex, no money, and no free time is going to bring you closer together??? I have no idea where this idea came from.

6. Baby talk. Oh my fricking God!!! There is nothing worse than baby talk, especially when it is to a child 2 or older. That's a great way to teach the kid how to speak properly (besides, you sound like an idiot).

7. Discipline. Do you know how many times I have had a toddler at my house throw something and break it, or dent my walls or floors? And what do the parents say? "OOhhhhhh isn't that cute" or "Now, now don't throw things". I hate it when I have to chase babies around my house because the parents don't give a damn what the child destroys. IF YOU CAN'T WATCH YOUR BABY LEAVE IT THE HELL HOME!!!

8. "Hold the baby" - If I wanted to hold your God damned kid, I'd ask to. Don't drop the damn thing on me just because you don't want to entertain it! -- Maybe that was a bit harsh, but you get the picture.

9. "Let the baby cry, eventually it will stop" - Normally, I really like this idea. After all, people who coddle their child too much annoy me. They cry all of the time because you will pick them up every time they make a sound - if it is bed time, let them cry themselves to sleep. The time that I really hate this idea is at my house. It is not my baby and I don't care to listen to it wail. Pick that baby up and walk with it you lazy piece of work!

10. Too much coddling. I kind of explained this above, but geez, don't spoil the kid. There is a fine line between being loving and spoiling. Do you really want to deal with a spoiled kid later in life? When you say NO, mean it and don't just let the baby do what you told them not to (Note: when I say baby, I mean toddler as well)

11. When someone says to my wife... "lets go somewhere, your husband will watch my baby" - I am NOT your babysitter and you couldn't pay me enough to be your babysitter. Just because I am home, doesn't mean I want to watch a baby. If you want me to, don't ask my wife, ask me!

12. "I just had a baby" - No one cares! It happens every day! Why would a stranger at a yard sale, or someone walking up the street with a stroller care that you had a baby. Congratulations, it is a baby, now get over yourself! I was constipated and had a big crap today. I am happy about this, but I'm sure that not everyone cares to know this information (least of all strangers).

13. "You aren't busy so you can watch my baby while I have fun" - NO I CAN'T! You had the baby, you watch the baby!

14. "My baby is a good baby; don't you think it is a good baby?" - If you don't want the answer to a question, don't ask it! There is no such thing as a good or bad baby, it is all a matter of how annoying is the child. The scale goes from ANNOYING to GET THAT DAMN THING AWAY FROM ME! All babies are annoying.

I hope by now you have an idea why I hate people with babies.

I Hate People

Why is it that no-one in this town knows how to drive!?!

Yet another reason why I HATE PEOPLE!!!

In a town where people stop for green lights, and run red, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that merging is completely out of the question. The two merge lanes that piss me off more than anything (mostly because I use them every day) are located coming onto a busy highway and coming off of a bridge.

You would think that merging onto a double lane highway would be easy, and it should be. Unfortunately, the far lane in this case is a turning lane and there are lights a short distance ahead. On this wonderfully designed highway, the traffic in the turning lane gets backed up for quite a distance. Rather than signalling, merging onto the highway, and merging into the turning lane, the geniuses in my town stop in the merging lane and drive the wrong way up the highway to get to the back of the line of traffic that is trying to turn. While this is very dangerous and is a huge problem, we also have idiots (I am included in this group) that drive on the shoulder to pass the idiots who don't know how to merge. Much of this problem is caused by even bigger idiots who won't allow you to merge into their lane for fear that you might reach your destination 5 seconds before they do. It seems like rather adolescent behaviour. "You can't butt in front of me!!!" -- Morons! You might think that creating a double turn lane on this highway would shorten the line-up in the turn lane and thus eliminate the problem. You would be wrong! If the drivers of this city cannot even figure out the concept of merging, how would they ever figure out the mind boggling, inconceivable concept of the double turning lane? Cars would be running into each other, driving on the sidewalks and turning every which way... IT WOULD BE ANARCHY!

As for the merge lane off the bridge, this attaches to both an off ramp and an on ramp. It should be easy enough to continue at a normal speed when leaving the bridge, signal and merge into your lane (which is also a two lane, one way street BTW). Apparently though, it is impossible to merge here. The cars come to a complete stop, back up traffic and wait until it is completely clear to "gun it" into the moving traffic. I can't completely blame the morons in the stopped cars for stopping (although most of the blame lies there), because the cars merging into the on ramp speed and cut off anyone who is trying to come off the bridge (because god knows that cutting in front of someone leaving a lane will get you where you are going faster than merging in behind them).

Although these places piss me off, there is one place in town that really amazes me. Recently, they changed the traffic pattern in front of one of the malls (Zellers Mall). They now have a lane which comes out of the parking lot directly onto the main street. This lane is not a merge lane at all, it is just a single lane that can be used to leave the mall area (a short way up the road, this lane becomes a right turning lane). There are no yield signs, no stop signs, no signs whatsoever. People still stop and wait for the traffic to be clear before continuing in their own lane. Once again, I can say that this is not completely the fault of the idiots leaving the mall. There are a great many other bigger idiots that think that the turning lane is theirs and the people coming out of the mall can go to Hell. They speed through and swerve into that lane as though they were Mario Andretti.

Man, do I ever hate people!!!